Oneness with God

How can we ever underestimate this amazing God? This beautiful God is one that is full of surprises and one is just so intensely & amazingly in love who each of us. Today was a really beautiful for me as God surprised me in ways that has really surpassed my expectations. Today was a Day of a true witnessing of Pure Love! I was really in such awe, especially when God spoke out unto me,

"Today is a day that I have been prepared for you for a very long time! It is a day for me to renew you!"

This day started with the beautiful Sacrament of Matrimony between Iggy & Josie, who are 2 very good friends of mine. It was just so amazing as these were 2 people that desired for nothing else but Jesus! They are people that just radiate that love for Jesus that they have so much in their hearts. And for God to bring them together in Marriage is just a great testimony of the kind of plans that he has for each one of us if we only trust God! At the mass, I really experience the true purity of Love! I experienced so much of God at the mass that I felt that it was unfair for me to receive so much goodness!

The day got even better as I met another very close friend of mine that I haven't seen in a very long time and it was just so good to talk to her. It was none other that Elaine. I really wanna affirm Iwan & her for the very courageous & beautiful testimony that they shared at the AYD rally.

The day slowly got much better as God slowly shifted the focus of him in an even more direct way. It was actually during the ending worship for the Parish segment at SFX. It was during this moment when God spoke out to me and invited me to surrender a part of me that I'd been holding onto ever since my discernment ended. That part was my fear of who God had prepared for me in marriage. But God just called out to me and really explained also how this fear was the cause of many of my falls of late. This fear was the root cause of my failings & shortcomings. But I surrendered it as well as every part of me that was in the safe hands of Jesus! So I surrendered my all to Jesus! "Do as you will, My Lord" I said.

As always, the best is always reserved for the last! The AYD rally for me was one of the best youth rallies that I've ever participated! It was especially spectacular for me as the theme of the rally was on Purity! I guess that the rally made a huge impact for me because I came to witness whatever God had prepared for me and also that I came into the rally without any expectations. Well actually the only expectation was to receive Jesus in the way he had prepared for me to receive him. During the worship, there were many visions I had of me just standing before God in the heavens just singing praise unto God! For me, the rally just re-established the oneness God had with me! The rally just renewed the very fact that I am a child of God that is perfect in the eyes of the Holy One and also that I just immensely love by God. For me, the rally was just a time spent with God in heaven! There was just so much joy in my heart over the fact of this oneness with God!

My life belongs to you alone my Lord! My life doesn't even belong to me! It belongs to you, my Jesus! I really surrender my all unto you, even the areas of my life where I am not even aware that I have surrendered unto you. I just so madly in love you, my Jesus! And i just wanna be that living sacrifice for your great glory and honour! Please my lord, use me in whatever you call me to and in wherever you call me to! Let not even my limitations be an obstacle for you, my Jesus! You are my only way! Lord Jesus, I want to commit unto you to be pure & holy for you and also for the one that you continue to prepare for me! I pray too that you will lead her to green pastures! Lord Jesus, may I fall into even greater love with you and never ever stop falling deeper in Love with you! Increase my deep desire for you! Lead me to be a testimony for you to tell everyone that pure & perfect love does exist, as long as it is always rooted in you!

Use me, my Lord! Lead me more and more to your love & holiness! Continue to make me one with you!

Affirmations:

A great affirmation to both Josie & Iggy! May God bless your journey of Marriage ahead! Continue to be this amazing reflection of God's true & pure love for the world to see!

Another affirmation to both Iwan & Elaine for the most beautiful sharing I have ever heard! It was just so touching for me! You'll show to this world that forgiveness is possible if it is rooted in Christ! Great things only await you both!

Finally, an amazing affirmation to the Music team for the AYD rally! For me, you'll were just so so amazing! I would say that its been the best music team that I've ever heard play before! A true testimony of God presence in each of you! God is so proud of each of you! Praise God for offering yourself unto God!

A new chapter

Today is the start of a new chapter. As it becomes the start of something new, it also marks the end of an experience that I've really come to treasure close to my heart. New chapters never fail to bring about an experience of both sides of the coin. It is always accompanied with both the negative & positive effects as new chapters to evolve in one's life. New chapters bring about both the excitement of what is to come but yet also accompanied with the memories of the past. The very thought that wanders as always, would be if what is to come in the future could ever meet the standards of the past. New chapters can bring about regret or absolute joy, but it really all depends on how we choose to look at it.

Yes, today marks the end to my 2-year long discernment. Its been really discernment for me. The very important point to take note is that when I say that the discernment has been amazing, I'm not saying that the discernment has been a sweet & rosy one. For those who know about my discernment would actually know what a painful experience its been for me. As I take a look at the past 2 years, I see how close Jesus has been to me. Jesus has really walked with me every step of the way, through the excruciating pain I felt in my heart and the countless times of silence I experienced from God and also the many times of joy that gave me reason to carry on. For me, this discernment has really helped me accelerate in my growth with God as well as a person. It has really helped me mature and understand the ways of God & the world too. It has surely the magnanimious difference between our beautiful God and this world. I will say that this has definitely made me much wiser. This discernment has especially brought me to great lengths. There are many times when those lengths were absolutely beyond me. But in those experiences, I was taught to learn what it truely meant to cling unto God with all I had. In very little ways, I experienced a small fraction of what Jesus had to endure on his road to Calvary, as I learnt to suffer for Jesus. There were many moments in the discernment that have been excruciating for me, especially when I had to refrain from telling the truth to certain people. And to all those people, I sincerely apologise for all those times. I really did all those acts in love for you because my heart broke so much to refrain from telling you the truth. I hope you forgive & understand me.

But all in all, there is just so much to praise God for this discernment. This experience is definitely one that I would never want to forget or ever regret. The outcome of this discernment is that I have discovered God's way of life for me, for I am called to the Vocation of Marriage. I do understand why God has called me to this way of life too as God gave me certain intense desires in my heart for the vocation of marriage. But I would that what i learnt the most was FAITH. Its a faith that knows no boundaries. A faith is rooted so deeply in the love of God.

This closure paves the way for another part of my Journey with Jesus to unfold. I'm as unaware as you are about the next part of my journey. This new chapter is one that requires much faith in God's plans for me. For me, today has been a day that has challenged me to move forward into this new chapter and to not keep dwelling on the experiences of the last chapter. In the course of today, I have struggled alot. But there is amazing evident invitation from God that moving into this new chapter is his desire & will for me. I praise God that he has made it clear unto me today!

As I wait upon the Lord, I place my entire life into his hands. For I know and am absolutely 100% sure that I'm just madly & insanely in love with Jesus. I would do anything & everything for this man of Jesus! For he is the only reason I live for and the only one I praise for the person I've become today. At the moment, I really don't know which girl he has set out for me, but I do know that God has taken care of that. So I surrender my worries about that into your hands, my Lord!

For those reading this post, I sincerely pray that you will place your life in the safe hands of Jesus. He loves you so much and will only do what he feels best for you. For Jesus, only the best to his standards will do for you. So take time out of your busy schedules and invest your time in God. He will lead you to trust in him and always be wary of the evil one preying on you always. Yet again, my best advice is to follow your heart. And if you are able to face God face-to-face and not feel embaressed about yourself as you speak to God, then you're on the right path. If not, then take time and let God change your life. For there is no situation/problem that is too big for God!

Praise you, O Jesus!

PS: Estelle, I had a beautiful day with you today! I didn't forget that! :)))