This leap of faith that I took was one that I never intended to take. In actual fact, I made a firm decision to not take this leap of faith. But God has his ways of convincing me otherwise. It all started shortly after my community's retreat in March. A fellow friend from aussie has emailed me to affirm me about the great things that happened at the yv retreat. She said that many of her fellow sowers shared with her about the great joy they felt through their intimate experience of God during the retreat. She then asked if I could help give her pointers for her own community retreat back in aussie! Without hesitation, I was more than willing to share my insights & ideas. After all, it was just to share pointers. As time progressed, the program for her community retreat had been finalised. My work was done and I felt at peace but there was this nagging feeling in my heart to help more than I had planned to. After much persistence from God, I had told her that there could be a possibility for a team from Singapore to head down to aussie to help serve at the retreat! But I made it very clear that I would not be going down as I was still recovering from my discernment and furthermore, it was an all-girls community. I knew in my heart that going to help at this retreat would be well beyond me. So I just formed a small team to go down to serve at their retreat! Praise god because there were 3-4 sower girls that were keen & open to the idea. So this made me feel not too bad about not going down to serve.
But as time progressed, the nagging feeling in my heart to serve at the retreat grew. But nonetheless, I was firm on choosing to not go as the reasons were valid and reasonable. In the meantime, the girls that accepted to serve for the aussie retreat were very persistent in their attempt to convince me to go with them to serve at the retreat. I remained strong but it was when I was sending off a fellow community member at the airport when I finally opened my heart to the idea. Ever since that moment, God paved the way for everything to move so smoothly. One thing led to another and the next moment, I just took that leap of faith and I was in Aussie serving at a all-girls 5-day retreat (though there was a guy who came for 2 nights). I was really entering a territory that was completely uncertain for me. There were many fears in my heart as I was the only person to give all 13 teaching sessions! There were so many reasons to back out but amidst all those reasons & fears, there was this very evident call in my heart to just take this leap of faith and know that Jesus holds my hand with me. Jesus takes this leap of faith with me.
This leap of faith is definitely the best decision I've ever made in my life. There is absolutely no doubt about that. As I was serving at the 5-day retreat, there was absolutely no moment at all where I felt regretful about making the trip down. It was the first time that I felt so happy & rested serving at a retreat. It was really amazing because I didn't sleep much during the retreat but somehow I just felt so rested. It was also a retreat that really stretched me, especially in my gift of teaching. But I'm so grateful to God for stretching me in this area because it was at this retreat that I was finally able to embrace & rejoice that I had a gift in Teaching! It was an experience like never before because I felt so happy & at ease giving each of the 13 teachings. Yes, I will admit that it was stressful but I felt so peaceful giving the teaching sessions. There surely is a big difference when you serve God in your area of gifting.
There were so many lessons I learnt from the retreat as well as the community there. I feel so honoured to have been with the community there! I had the privilege of witnessing how easy it was to love instead of judging. I also managed to witness the simplicity of God in each of the girls. I was also so touched by how much they loved & accepted me with ease. I felt so blest to be in their presence. I also learnt so much about community. I would say that something close to unconditional love was my experience with the girls from that community! I am forever thankful to each one of them! As much as I was there to serve, I was able to receive in abundance through my serving. I just felt so loved & appreciated like never before. I also leant what it meant to be truly Catholic. But I'll share about that in another post!
The retreat was a beautiful experience for each of them too! They had a true intimate experience of God's unconditional love. It was a retreat where I had never experience such a full experience of God's love & power as there was a the Sacrament of reconciliation, Mass, a night to experience the intimate touch of Jesus, a night of the outpouring of the holy spirit, the washing of feet & ect. It was such a full experience! There is just so much to praise God for!
This all was made possible when the girls & I said our 'Yes' to take that leap of faith. It was a leap of faith where I had to totally trust God with blind faith and as well as to totally surrender my everything unto God! I am so glad that I did because I received back in a hundred-fold! We can really never out-do God in generosity! It was also a trip that helped me realise certain desires in my heart that I had chosen to reject for the past 2 years. But through this retreat, God has led me to be more open to plans that I never knew God would consider approving! I have so much to praise God for! There is no amount of praise that would be sufficient to express my deep gratitude & appreciation unto him!
Lord God, I praise & worship from the depths of my heart for all that you have done. The best part is that you love me so much no matter what I do or say! I thank you and praise you for this free gift of your unconditional love unto me! Jesus, you are my heart's desire! Lead me to your will always! I love you Jesus! :)
To all that are reading this post, I just want to tell you that there will be moments each of our lives when we need to take a leap of faith with God! Though there will be many fears in your heart, Jesus invites you to take this leap of faith with him as he holds your hand! He loves you and only has great plans for you because he only wants the best for you. And sometimes, you may not understand the reasons for why God does certain things but he sees the bigger picture and the fat is that we can't see what he sees. But all we can do is to surrender in openness to his will and trust him!
"Put your hand in the hand of the Lord and never let go!"
