Hang in there, Child

Its just been really extremingly tough in this lent. Although there have been some really joyful times like the rally! But on a personal note, Its just been so difficult.

Before lent came, I asked god to allow me to really experience Lent well and I guess in many ways to experience the journey Jesus had to go through. My gosh, did God answer my prayers or what. I have had to experience a journey where I've been pushing and fighting for god although I have fallen so many times. Its been even more difficult because of the lack of joy and happiness. It is only now that I realise how much I miss myself being joyful and happy. And many times in the past, I have asked myself if the joy is from god or from just me wanting to be happy always.

The answer is that its is 110% from god! I have experimented on this cause there've been morning where I have pushed to have joy by waking up early to pray and enjoy the sun (Please take note that its my holidays). But ultimately, I just haven't been able to feel the joy I experienced in the past especially on fridays. So sorry to the lovely people who haven't received any friday morning cheers for so long. There've been many times when I've wanted to sms joy msgs but there was no joy to share. And I miss sms-ing all of you so much. I really can't describe how much struggles and pain I've been through in the time of Lent! Futhermore, I have missed my cell people so much. But I guess that this is part of my journey of lent!

I'm also very dissapointed with myself for venting out my frustrations and anger at god for all the struggles, pains and voids left in my heart. There's been so many times when I got angry with god. And now thinking about it, its really unfair to god.

But I just have been assured by god that there is a need to go through this struggles in order to move onto the next stage of my journey with Jesus! With that, I am encouraged to hang in there and draw closer to god though there are many voids of happiness to be filled. Hang in there is the message!

With this message, I am sure that come Easter, there will be a big blast of celebrations and joy! I pray that we all hang in there and draw closer to god! Amen!