What can I say about this whole day? I think in many ways, it kind of sums up my life and it all adds up for me. Its been a day that I’ve looking forward to for the longest time. And I think many of us look forward to our 21st birthday too. And at the start of this year, there were 2 events that I was looking forward to. And of course, my 21st was one of them and the second would be my trip to Aussie.
Today started with 9am mass and then the kind of a usual Sunday morning in church. But when I came home, a sense of weirdness and un-satisfaction came upon me. And from there, I started thinking about how the party at night would turn out for me. Then arose many thoughts of whether this night would really be a memorable one for me.
So I just carried on my day with my family and also helped the brilliant mother to clean the house for the party. And then the party came. I was quite amazed at how many people came. I think about 50 people in all came. It comes to me as a quite a shock that so many people would come to my 21st B’day celebration.
But when I round up the whole day, I would surely conclude that this day has been a simple one with its struggles and joys. But I especially take back with great memory in my heart, that I’ve been able to spend my 21st B’day with the ones I love dearly for the whole 24 hours. And the moment which took my breath away, was when I was cutting my 21st B’day cake. At that moment, there flashed the love of people before me and I was so nervous. But out of the whole 24 hours, that was the moment which really took my breath away.
And where is God in all of this, so you may ask? My answer is that God is in every split second of these last 24 hours. Throughout every moment of the day, I could see God hand’s in everything. And I know for sure too that that he is so happy that I had such an excellent & memorable 21st Birthday!
Lord Jesus, I thank you and praise you for such a simple but wonderful 21st Birthday! I love you O God so much. Thank you God for everything! And thank you to all who’ve sent me messages, wished me throughout the day, new confirmation group for remembering my birthday and lastly, thank you so much for all who came for my Birthday celebration at my house. Much love to all of you. Praise God!
PS: My post is in my favourite colour === RED! Of course I wore my favorite WYD red shirt. Pics should be out soon.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
The reality of suffering
Everyone would totally agree that suffering is really something so real & true but also something so difficult to bear. And I think in so many different ways, I also desire to escape it. But I think the phase of suffering I’ve been through has been a real difficult experience. It been one of those experiences where we wonder how did we ever survive.
But yes, over the past 3 months, there’s been immense suffering mostly deep within the depths of my heart. And I think that what has made the last 3 months so difficult has been the 1 reason of how I wasn’t able to conclude on what I was going through. And for me, being in a situation where I didn’t know what was happening or where the whole experience was leading me to brought great amounts of frustration.
For me, it was something that I never saw coming and would never have been the way I would plan my 2008 year to end. During the built-up towards Christmas, I only felt the Christmas feeling on the 24th of December. There just seemed to be so much of struggle that I just really couldn’t see how I would be able to rejoice in this time. Even in such a devastating experience, I still couldn’t conclude on what was happening or where this was heading towards.
But in the midst of this difficult experience, God was in suffering with me too. And what brings much sadness is how unfair & cruel I was to God. I kept shouting at God and demanded explanations on what was happening to me. This experience really brought out so much anger & frustration from me. And although I felt abandoned by everyone, in my heart I knew God would do anything to save me from such a devastating situation but then I wouldn’t learn anything from this experience.
Hence, I think one of the most awesome fruits I take from this ongoing experience, is how I’ve learnt to have more patience with God and to wait upon God. Another fruit is how I’ve learnt that Suffering is part our walks with God. It’s something that I can’t keep running away from. I still think that this experience is ongoing but I’ve learnt to accept this time of suffering.
Many would think and ask what is the suffering actually? In so many ways, it just feels like there’s so much pain in my heart. But I think its just the difficulty in accepting that my walk with God will not always be joy and also in accepting the will of God for the plan he has for me in my life, together with my demands for an explanation for all that’s happened.
But still in all things, I wanna praise God still for carrying me in his arms and ensuring that I’m still taken care of. I praise God for the special graces of leading his people in my parish of SFX. I am so sure that the Holy Spirit has been guiding me as I guide the youths of the Parish!
PS: To my dearest cell group, I want you to know that I miss every single one of you. All of you have been so instrumental in my walk with God. I hope all of you had an excellent Christmas & New Year. I hope to see all of you soon. Love all of you loads!
But yes, over the past 3 months, there’s been immense suffering mostly deep within the depths of my heart. And I think that what has made the last 3 months so difficult has been the 1 reason of how I wasn’t able to conclude on what I was going through. And for me, being in a situation where I didn’t know what was happening or where the whole experience was leading me to brought great amounts of frustration.
For me, it was something that I never saw coming and would never have been the way I would plan my 2008 year to end. During the built-up towards Christmas, I only felt the Christmas feeling on the 24th of December. There just seemed to be so much of struggle that I just really couldn’t see how I would be able to rejoice in this time. Even in such a devastating experience, I still couldn’t conclude on what was happening or where this was heading towards.
But in the midst of this difficult experience, God was in suffering with me too. And what brings much sadness is how unfair & cruel I was to God. I kept shouting at God and demanded explanations on what was happening to me. This experience really brought out so much anger & frustration from me. And although I felt abandoned by everyone, in my heart I knew God would do anything to save me from such a devastating situation but then I wouldn’t learn anything from this experience.
Hence, I think one of the most awesome fruits I take from this ongoing experience, is how I’ve learnt to have more patience with God and to wait upon God. Another fruit is how I’ve learnt that Suffering is part our walks with God. It’s something that I can’t keep running away from. I still think that this experience is ongoing but I’ve learnt to accept this time of suffering.
Many would think and ask what is the suffering actually? In so many ways, it just feels like there’s so much pain in my heart. But I think its just the difficulty in accepting that my walk with God will not always be joy and also in accepting the will of God for the plan he has for me in my life, together with my demands for an explanation for all that’s happened.
But still in all things, I wanna praise God still for carrying me in his arms and ensuring that I’m still taken care of. I praise God for the special graces of leading his people in my parish of SFX. I am so sure that the Holy Spirit has been guiding me as I guide the youths of the Parish!
PS: To my dearest cell group, I want you to know that I miss every single one of you. All of you have been so instrumental in my walk with God. I hope all of you had an excellent Christmas & New Year. I hope to see all of you soon. Love all of you loads!
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