Christmas preparations were yet another one of intensive baking of my cookies! Other than that, it was one where my shopping was devoted to 2 people whom I'd say I hold the closest to my heart now! And I am sure they know who they are! And its for them to be aware of the immense love I have for them! And its not a love like the love from this world! Its a love that's from heaven!
Last year, I did alot of baking also but it was quite spread out as I gave 3 cookies each to about 40-50 people. But this year, I listened to my heart again! My heart desired to go all out for these 2 people that I loved ever so much! I loved them not just because of what they did, but it was more of how uniquely my heart loved them so much. It was how my heart just kept feeling for them and thinking about them ever so much! And also the way, God instilled in me this desire to love them more & more each day! And God always told me to never give up on them. And I love them both so much! And in many ways, my love for them is like the love that God has for me! It was an every second thing where my heart kept going out to them. And in such feelings, that's when I started to sacrifice more of myself and the things I have. This Christmas, due to the way my heart was feeling for these 2 people, I decided to splurge out for these 2 people!
Hence, I baked a total of 80 cookies each for these 2 people that I loved so much! And also bought them each a present! It became very exciting for me as my heart kept thumping from how I was attending to the desires of my heart! But in the midst of this great joy i was feeling within my heart, I never did expect anything from them in return, not even a Christmas card! And I think that becomes a true amazement when we love & give from our hearts! We give without any expectations and never expecting any recognition for the love we show! And for me, this was my gift to Jesus this Christmas, the response to the love I had in my heart! This is what made christmas for me! But of course it doesn't end there for me!
Christmas day midnight mass @ SFX was so amazing for me! My entire preparations and the mass reflections were focused on the Joyful victory of the battles of this 2009 year! This whole year was the most difficult & painful year for me! It was a year where the will of God became more & ore harder as each day of this year passed on before me! God really brought me through the most painful times this year! But in all of those times, there was 1 thing that never left me, and that was God being by my side! God never left me no matter what I was going through. And many of those painful experiences was to do with the will of God for my life and the majority of the pain took place within my heart! And that was difficult for me as I questioned god so many times, "Why is there so much pain when I didn't do anything wrong?" But in all of it, God allowed his presence to weather each storm he sent me! This proved to be a year of whether my love for God was really true & faithful!
And at the midnight mass, there was this immense feeling of victory in my heart! And from then on, there was a radiance on my face that showed it all! It was a joy that came directly from heaven! And I knew there was great rejoice & dancing in Heaven too! And this was what I needed after what this 2009 year has brought for me! I also recall how I had to put on fake smiles at the 2008 Christmas & New year celebrations, due to the immense pain I felt in my heart! But after my joy experiences at this year's Christmas midnight mass, I knew that everything was all worth it!
It like what I believe to be always true.
"The magnitude of the pain we experience, will be the same magnitude of great joy we will experience when its over!"
Christmas celebrations were so amazing with YV. As we went to a 24hr Carl's Jr place to eat, after which we headed to the ever beautiful Marina Barrage to just walk, take photos and enjoy the beauty of God! And for me, it spoke about the things i love the most about this year, its the simple things that have always been there that makes life so beautiful!
Christmas day was made perfect as I was out with my family the whole day, although I was sleepy the whole day as I reached home on Christmas morning at 7.30am after the beautiful time at Marina barrage with YV! I slept until 12noon and then headed to visit my relatives for the whole day. And the highlight of Christmas day was how happy my uncle was when my family came to see him on Christmas Day! He is someone suffering with liver cancer and we all knew that he didn't have much time to live his life here on earth and that this might be his last Chrismas with us! And that joy on his face just made me so touched and really felt like Jesus is always being made the most present in the simple things we choose to do from the love we have in our hearts!And this Christmas really serves to be one of great joy! And I think the magnitude of suffering & pain I felt this 2009, will be equal to the magnitude of great Joy that will unfold for me at this Christmas! If we can take joy from God, then surely we can take suffering too!
I also do ask for your prayers on the 30th of december as I go for my heart check-up on that day with my cardiologist! And it looks like I'll be hospitalised for the new year! But I hope that in this time, I'll bring the joy I have in God, be spread to those that God sends me in the new year time!
To all faithful vistors of My Journey with Jesus blog, I praise God for each of you and may you have great joy this Christmas! This is my prayer for you from my heart! In the new year of 2010 ahead, I pray that you will follow your heart as you walk with Jesus on your journey! But may you also embrace the feelings within your heart, whether its a time of painful suffering or great joy! Embrace these moments with God! And for 2010, may you believe this phrase that has captivated me so much!
"There is no blemish at all in God's Plan for you if you are always earnestly seeking to do the will of God from your hearts!"
Always follow your heart! Your heart will lead you to God! It has for me thus far!
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