Pre-YISS confusions

So finally I'm gonna post the awesome events that happened over this month!

Many of my close friends would really know that YISS has been something that I've been really waiting and preparing for all very long time even though I was going as a participant. I guess its because of the fact that there's been many people I've met, who has had really awesome and tangible experiences of the holy spirit. So ya, that was something I was especially looking forward to, cause for many years its just been faith that has lead me on as a followeer of Jesus.

And as YISS drew even more closer, I started to ask god whether I was disobeying him by going for the YISS cause my term test was the day after YISS ended and like I had 4 term test which took place over 4 consecutive days. Then after I'd have the SFX youth camp. And before YISS, I was at a stage where I'd place my life in every aspect in the hands of the lord and felt very guilty when I disobeyed god. So I felt this huge amount guilt too cause there was so much to settle with regards to the SFX youth camp and also there was so much to study still. But on the other hand, maybe god was trying to tell me to let go and leave it in his hands. So I was in this state of confustion until the day before YISS and I shared with a few people about this and received different views about this. I started to have many different thoughts about this and I wasn't able to spend silent time with god to really discern about this.

Then finally on wednesday night, I just offered it up at mass and after mass I decided to just go with an open heart and not to worry about anything else.