And it has been the Confirmation badge of 2009 that just reinstates the great wonder of "What has God done in me!" And for me, the great revelation of who I used to be 6 years will never ever grow old in my heart! Everyday, I am constantly amazed at what God has done and what God is constantly doing in my life.
I will recall being a extremely outcast & lonely 15-year-old boy. Back then, life just seemed to be the cruelest & excruciating experience anyone could ever go through! And to quite a large extent, I felt like living in hell would be much better than allowing this extremely painful experience on earth continues. For me, the world became so cruel. I constantly felt like God made me with 1 purpose in life, "To be the ultimate failure"! And there were even times when I felt that it would be better for me to be a refugee than to deal with the pain in my heart and going through it alone felt so much more worst! And after awhile, I just became immune to such feelings of loneliness, failure & intense pain in my heart, which just lead to give up on Mark Abraham due to the fact that "Mark Abraham was a hopeless case and just wasn't the effort. He was doomed to fail all his life!" But please don't think for a second that I'm over-exaggerating.
But on the 1st of November 2003, I now become aware of this question that God posed to me on the day of my Sacrament of Confirmation,
"Will you give me a chance, my Son? Let me make you new! Let me make the new 'Mark Sebastian Abraham! You shall be a New Creation in the Name of Jesus Christ!"
And when I was sealed with Holy Spirit using Holy Chrism by Archbishop Nicholas Chia on the 1st of November 2003, I was saying my 'YES' to this question from God!
And step by step, God moulded me into someone he had always planned for this world to experience. And God knew that the one thing I still struggled with as a teenager was 'My Studies'. And slowly, God instill in me a strength to never give up in my studies as I went from being in Normal Technical at St. Gabriel's Secondary, to taking my 'N' Levels, to doing very well at ITE in Precision Engineering (Aerospace) but not without struggle, to taking my dream of 'O' Levels for English, E-Maths & Pure Physics in Year 2 of my ITE studies, to my Diploma studies in Mechatronics at Temasek Polytechnic (which ends in 4 months). And constantly, I see how God uses me in this world to prove the fact that "God is one that makes the Impossible become so Real & Possible!"
I do not boast of myself but I boast of the one living in me, that is Christ Jesus! God has transformed me in a way that I would have never ever imagined! This journey with Jesus has become one where God is so available & tangible for us to delight in! God is infinite in every way possible but he chooses to give so much of his Love & himself to the most finite of his creation that is we, his dearest children!
And its been 2 years of existence for this blog already! And over this time, many have come to aid from my reflections, my intense pain, my Joys & Delight in God and My Journey with Jesus! If we decide that everyday, we really desire for God in our hearts and constantly being open to what God wills for us. Then we will see God face-to-face in our hearts. We will experience a transformation of our lives that we would never ever imagine. This is something that is really PRICELESS! Its something no amount of money we can ever buy!
All we need is to really use our hearts to walk with Jesus! I've been reading about how many of us wish to go much deeper with Jesus! But as I reflect of the way my life turned out to be and continue to unfold, all we need is "Fall in Love with this great man of Jesus Christ" and also never stop and think that you have reached a limit of falling in love with Jesus! But always allow your feelings within your heart for Jesus be expressed on your face, body and actions! If you think for a second that God will stop surprising you, then just take it from me that God loves you so so much and he continues to surprise you everyday but you must learn to not conform to the ways & pressures of this world!
Always believe with your heart! I've got this far only because I kept believing in this heart within me. This heart that will fight against this cruel world for the Love that God lavishes on us! This heart will keep fighting no matter what struggle comes my way! That's how you go deeper!
Praise you God for who you've moulded & continue to mould me to be in this world! My prayer for all in this world is to keep following their hearts and allow God to fill whatever the many voids they may be feeling!
Lord, use me in this world to prove how real you are in this world! May I, your very unworthy servant of the Lord, be your Living Testimony! I am just so much in Love with You, Christ Jesus!
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