Embrace your Nervousness

There just lies this huge amount of pressure upon me throughout this whole process of studying for my final exams! And in many ways, its being the exams for my last semester really just adds onto the pressure of doing much better this time. I am fully aware that the pressure isn't the same compared to previous poly exams.

And it enters this state of confusion when I start to think about who is placing this pressure upon me! I am most certain that it isn't God at all! And I guess I have been placing too much pressure on myself to perform even better as its the very last set of exams in poly! And as weird as it is, its funny how its reached this point. Its so seldom that I place pressure on myself to perform but I guess its something that has happened!

Its really not been a walk in the park this time. I constantly find myself getting angry & frustrated with myself for not being able to remember the content that I need to remember! And one of the toughest parts of this experience is not being convinced that I've done enough! Its that feeling where you know you have studied everything but you aren't convinced yourself! And I guess this has been a reason for the many frustrations! With the 1st of the 2 exams starting tomorrow, an increased amount of nervousness sets in!

Another load of nervousness entered today when a very late realisation was made this afternoon. All the while, I had the idea that my Instrumentation exam was on Tuesday and my Automation exam on Wednesday! But when I doubled-checked it this afternoon, it was the opposite. And I started to freak out! And after studying and studying, I knew that God would be essential in the midst of a total mess!

As I entered church, feelings of whether I would mess up my exams started to really overwhelm me and more nervousness entered my heart! But as mass began, I just surrender everything into the trustworthy hands of Jesus! And throughout the mass, I just felt very strongly about this message, "My Son, embrace your nervousness! And make it part of you" And as soon as I started to try to embrace it, I felt this great grace of God flowing in my heart! Its like the confidence of heaven came down upon you!

And God said, "Just do your best, my son! You know that I'm always with you! Let me work my wonders! Just have faith as always!"

And so I'm just going to have a real go at it whether my heart feels ready or not because my God is ready to do wonders for me over the next 2 days of exams! And he grants me a faith that will move mountains!

Lead me, Lord Jesus! You are always my Rock, both in the good & bad times!

PS: Please please do keep me in prayer! My exams are on the 23rd Feb @ 9.30am & 24th Feb @ 2.30pm!