The happenings

There has been a recent realization that I've come to notice about myself over the past few weeks whenever I come out on the weekends. There just seems to be this incredibly immense & deep hunger to satisfy the love that my heart desires. Its also quite beautiful because for the first time in my life, there is a time limit for me to attend to these desires. During the weekends, my heart just cries out from the very moment I reach home. As I had time to reflect, another factor that has contributed to this immense hunger has been my discernment. And every time that I've made the effort to allow this desire to be met, there is an incredible explosion of joy deep within me. It feels like a meeting between my heart & Jesus himself.

And over the past few weeks, at least ever since I started my NS, the desire to experience God within me becomes magnified. I guess its become very interesting also for me, as my discernment reaches its 'crunch time'. My discernment is coming to an end when this year comes to a close. As that time draws nearer, there are alot of mixed emotions deep within me. There are emotions of intense excitement and on the other end, there are emotions of wondering if this is God's direction for me. And I guess this has been part of the reason for this immense hunger for this unconditional love of Jesus. As time passes on, there is this calling from God unto me to trust him no matter whatever his plan for me may be.

Just last sunday, I struggled with what was God's direction for me. There were so many questions in my heart. This became too overwhelming for me and I just went up to a very wise man of God, Brian Butler who was giving a whole of sessions for the AYD briefing. And as I spoke to him, he left me with these words,

"Jesus' love for each of us is always constant & unchanging. But his plan for us may change from time to time. Jesus has to bring us through certain paths in our lives, so that we will learn more & more about ourselves and his plan for us. We are all called to always allow Jesus to drive the car of our lives, without giving him directions as to where we are to go. We are called to just trust in him!"

And with these words, I was left in so much comfort. But as I move closer towards the end of my discernment, God is doing things very subtly through dreams, visions and also prophesies from those who pray over me. In my heart, I praise God for how interesting & dynamic of a life he has blest me with. I praise God for this calling to live a life of holiness.

Lord Jesus, I delight at how you have made me to be. I pray Lord that you will take my hand and hold it tightly as I come close to the end of this year-long discernment. In my heart, my Lord Jesus, I desire to do nothing else except your holy will. I know that your will is the best for me!

For I am the handmaid of the Lord, May it be done unto me according to thy word!

Reflection of the weekend: Cast aside all details of what is to happen. Just trust in me. All I want is you to trust me with your life!