A time to wait

Waiting seems to be one of the most difficult experiences that we as children of God are called to experience. There are times when we are reminded that our time isn't the same as the time of God! Over time, as we draw closer to heart of God, we come to a deep understanding that on this journey with Jesus, the phase of waiting is very crucial & important in God's work within each of us. But why is waiting so important! It becomes more and more difficult when the other areas in one's life are moving at a very realistic pace! Why is the wait for the areas in one's life that are so important become so long?

In this very moment of my life, things are moving at a very realistic rate. There is so much to praise God for! There is growth is so many areas of my life! The list of the areas of growth seems to be unending! Over the past 2 months, ever since God began his healing, especially healing the scars that developed within my heart from my discernment, there has been an immense amount of lightness & joy within me! My community has been growing so much ever since the YV retreat and God's anointing upon this community is becoming more & more obvious! There is also much growth in my prayer life and also the constant battle against sin. There have also been many relationships with friends that have been renewed, as well as new friendships with different people of God that have been created! There is also so much growth in the district as a very strong wave of God's awakening within each of our hearts seems to be ringing all round! There is just so much to praise God for!

In my journey, God has blest me so much with both a devoted spiritual buddy and also a very amazing man of God that has promised to journey with me and find God's will for me in my life. He has really stretched me in very obvious ways of discovering the person that God has created. He has taught me so many things that I have placed as not important. He has truely been a immense blessing in my walk with Jesus! I really can't thank him & God enough for the amazing growth that has been happening within me! So thank you my dearly loved brother in Christ from Sabah! I will keep praying for you each day!

In the midst of such blessings, in my heart, there is still this very state of not feeling satisfied & contented. Its like the core of my deepest desire still remains to be not fulfilled! Its a deep desire that unites God's love for me and God's vocation for me! But how can this be? My deepest desire has always been God! How can another deepest desire develop and also unify my deep desire for God! Am i just over-exaggerating this desire? But how can I be over-exaggerating this desire when its a desire that becomes magnified each time I enter into prayer with God!

In my heart, I wonder if this deep unified desire will ever be met? Or is this a way that the evil one is subtly using to take me away from God? There lies so many questions deep within my heart! This desire is also one that unifies me with my vocation of Marriage! But beneath these questions, there lies one fact that remains to be extremely evident!

"Trust in me, my Son! I know the plans I have for you! Wait upon me as I mould in the meantime"

This wait is one that is difficult to bear as it is the one area of my life that I struggle to wait upon God! But although I feel this way, I know in my heart that I am still not ready for that next phase of my life. Due to this unreadiness, God wants to mould & refine me for that next phase of life! It is amazing how God seems to be in full control of my life! For me, I am called to place my both feet in this time to wait and be moulded by God! I am called to embrace this time to wait and believe in the fruits that will develop within me from this time to wait! I am called to work together hand-in-hand with God in moulding me into the person he desires me to become! I am called ultimately to trust Jesus in the areas of my life that are the most difficult & painful to trust!

I am not sure where you are in your own phase of life! But know this; Jesus will take as much control in your life as you allow him to be in control of! The journey with Jesus and the call to trust him is never easy but I have seen the fruits first-hand and they truly 'PRICELESS"! There is absolutely no price worthy enough for the fruits that you will bear from your time to wait upon God as he moulds you into the beautiful person that he desires for you to be!

I too am challenged to believe in this message! I pray that we will be reminded of this call into a time to wait! God has the best plans for us. We just need time to believe in it!

Lord Jesus, I struggle to wait upon you especially in this area of my life, coupled with this immense desire! But help dear Lord to believe in this wait you have called upon me to believe in! Help me surrender and trust you! For you alone knows what lies ahead for me!

Praise you O God!