Back and renewed

Back & renewed is what is going through my mind through the Leadership Formation Module by SACCRE! It was simply amazing, but it might not be appealing to everyone. Its was something that I was really yearning for and so wonderfully did god's servant, Charles Whitehead who gave so many wonderful teachings for all the leaders who came! Its yet again a process of being renewed!

Actually when Sury invited me to go, I was really excited about all of it but at the same time, I wondering who Charles Whitehead was and like whether it was worth to go for this and also that I needed to fast abit to come out with the $15 registration fee. So I was there on Saturday at the start of the whole programme, I ask myself this, "Why am I here man? Like what can I possibly learn from this?" Then I spoke to god for a bit and then concluded that there's a reason that god brought me here, so I'll receive with an open heart and I'm sure god had a reason for instilling in me a heart of excitement when I heard this was organized. So ya from there, I just listened and received whatever god wanted to say through Charles Whitehead.

As the talks got on, the topics were what the Catholic Charismatic Renewal (CCR) was all about. And from there I was able to really learn more and more about the CCR. Then during a time of worship, I was just reminded by god on how the timing for myself to be receiving the gift of tongues was just all so perfect. The timing to receive it has been really so perfect! It was a also a reminder that god might be calling me to this area too and maybe in future to lead in this area too. I really learnt so much stuff and how real the Holy Spirit was in this world today and not only in the Catholic Church but also in the other churches in the world like the Anglican, Methodist & evangelical churches too! And slowly god was drawing me closer and more interested in this area too.

On Sunday, the talks were even more amazing as the topics were more on a deeper level of leadership and the part which I loved most was how the pope has been supporting the CCR and also how the CCR has proved to everyone that this is the new move of god working the universal church! And all this wasn't something entirely new as through the past few weeks, god has been preparing me for this although I didn't realize it at all! And as I listened more and more, I just felt that this was the mission god has set for me. He really wants everyone to be more filled and refilled with the Holy Spirit!

It all links with one of my main visions for the followers of JESUS which is that there is be a day when "Every knee will bow and every tongue confesses that Jesus is lord. Also that everyone will really worship god in their daily lives!" I'll have to blog on all the other stuff I learned during this amazing weekend! But for now let's work to towards this!

A leader and servant for Christ

This is want I want to do for this year! To be a leader and especially a servant for Christ! And I must say that the fruits of the plans of god are really surfacing already. Starting with my ministry in YV, we had our AGM last Saturday and it was by far the best one we've had in our 3 years of existence! I chaired the meeting and it was really awesome. I could really feel the desire in everyone to do something about their relationship with god and there were so many points brought up about deepening and growing in the walk with god. And I just am so sure that God has said this year to go out more to spread his love and word. He is continuously telling me that this year, we evangelize like never before and to not be afraid to proclaim of god's glory!

Its just something that has been the message for me, "This year, people are desiring for god more and so talk about me, your lord. For it'll be easier this year to bring more people closer to god!" And so I guess in many ways, it's also the perfect time for me to serve the people of god. In the past, I guess god has been forming me deep within and changing my character but I always thought that its all useless cause like nobody actually notices and affirms me but this year, its just been overflowing, with all the affirms and joy. Its just been great as long as I remain in God, which proves the verse from the bible, "Remain in me and I will remain in you!".

And before the year started, during my cell group, we had a time praying for each other and also asking god for a word for our partner. There was once when Gavin said that the last time I lead in worship for an event was REACH which was a small Praise & Worship mini rally thing where only 30+ people came and I was a tiny little disappointed about that. But now Gavin saw a vision that I was worship leading again but this time, there were much more people out there and they were all worshipping god in such a deep way. And yes this vision will come true on the 1st of March, when I worship lead at the Shine Jesus Shine rally at St. Vincent de Paul church at 7.30pm. And its something that I only realized recently. You know when Gavin told me that vision, I was thinking, "Oh man, there's going to be alot of planning and all!, but then I never realized that it would be at a district level cause I had the mindset that it would be just parish level!" So ya its really amazing and exciting although my poly exams are during the week before the Saturday when the rally will happen.

But here's the best part, I'm really not worried at all! In the past, I would be really scared and all of exams but ever since I entered poly, God has changed my mindset in the way that, "I'll just do my best and god will take care of the rest as long as I remain in him!" I will testify that this is really true cause last semester, I barely even studied and I did well. Another occasion was in December for my term tests when I was the busiest with all the planning for the youth camp as main IC and all. Even for this one I barely even studied and still god so wonderfully gave me good results! But at the same time, this doesn't mean that I don't have to study, but god always makes sure that I know what happening for all my modules but its really all god!

And so I truly want to be a leader and servant for Christ and my aim is to bring glory to his name and to bring people to him and be able to experience him intimately EVERYDAY! And its possible cause I experience him everyday intimately! Although many would say it’s impossible, the awesome thing about god is that for him nothing is impossible! So let's love more and give glory to god more!

So all of you must come for the rally!

Shine Jesus Shine Serangoon district rally

Date: 1st March, Saturday
Time: 7.30pm
Place: St. Vincent de Paul Church
Theme: Trust

The extremely blessed 20th birthday

God has been so generous and awesome throughout my birthday! I mean really awesome! When the new year started, I was wondering and talking to god on how my 20th birthday would be like. And i guess I thought to go into it with an open mind and not to expect anything at all. I just felt that it would be the best way to go into it as then there would be less dissapointment.

Throughout last week, my birthday celebrations started on tuesday with a dinner at "New York New York". Then on wednesday, it was with josie with a nice chat and pleasant suprise. This was more simplicity, so it was extra special. I guess the talking took alot of the highlights. Anyway when friday came, I was so suprise when my mum and sister came beside me and sat by my bedside to wake me up at 6.30am. Then they didn't say anything by just tapped me and showed me the bible I've been wanting to get for the longest time. Although it felt like a dream! I was so happy and what a way to start my 20th birthday! And then as usual, throughout the day I received SMSs from various people not forgetting lovely elaine's call right on time at 12 midnight which was such a suprise and it was a really sweet thing to do. Anyway the day went by with school and in the afternoon, I had to do a electronics project at home. What a time to be doing a project, which took about 3 hours. Anyway then I went for Amplify session at CSC. At that time, I was feeling a little stangnant due to the stress of the project caused earlier. So I boldly asked god to give me joy on my special day because I really wanted to be happy although I was feeling unworthy to ask him but nevertheless, god gave me grace to ask him boldly and yes of course, he gave me joy and happiness as soon as I reached CSC. And as soon as I saw Becks at CSC, she wished me and wonderfully told everyone its my birthday and yes they all sang a birthday song. Thanks becks, really appreciate it! The session by Dom on Worship was really good too. We had a good supper too after that to end 11 January!

On saturday, Jeanette treated me to a really awesome birthday lunch at Billy Bombers. The burgers were simply awesome! Then at YAM session in the evening, Angele & Elaine planned the whole suprise of the cake and all. Also take into consideration of the fact that I haven't been coming for YAM sessions recently too. So ya it was all really awesome from all the suprises everyone gave me. I was totally blown away so much. I really appreaciate them all so so much! Thank you daddy god for such beautiful suprises and experiences I received as I turned 20! Thanks to YV, Becks, Pris, YAM, my lovely family, all who messaged and wished me and especially Elaine and Angele! Love all of it loads!

The exciting 20th birthday

Well the big 20th birthday is just an hour away! Can't believe that it's just an hour to 11 January! And plus my birthday's on a friday! And I don’t know why but I just so excited to turn 20, really not sure why but just very excited and happy to turn 20! I also don’t know why but for the past few days, I just have been forgetting my birthday so much! It‘s like, I’ll plan my whole week and then ask myself, “Hey then what about Friday, what should I study on or like what time should I go to church? Then I’ll like tell myself, “Mark, It’s your Birthday man! Like did you forget?” And this has been happening for a few times man!

I guess it’s also because people have been celebrating my birthday for the past 3 days, like on Tuesday night, it was YV and then last night, it was Josie but don’t think for a second that I’m complaining cause I’m just so happy that I’m so loved and that people care for me and also remember my birthday! And all thanks to my lovely god! Thanks god!

Have a heart for my ministry!

Just yesterday, I had a meeting with Father Brian to discuss about the SFX youth ministry but it was more about my group, “The Youth Vineyard”. After all the issues and all, he kept saying that I should try to detach myself from my other stuff like my outside cell and maybe go less for the Amplify sessions, or maybe to go less for my outside cell and not detach all the way. After hearing this, I got a little upset and all because it was part of being faithful and obedient to my main ministry which was SFX! But I still knew that it was something that I need to do, although its really hard cause I guess to some extent, I love the people from my outside cell and Amplify more than the people from SFX! I feel that the reason is also cause you know I’m able to really share deep stuff with them but for SFX, it is more of try to understand their situation first and then advise them and also maybe cause I get less unpleasant remarks with the people from Amplify & my outside cell! So after all that Father Brian said, you know I just felt that I should be obedient and listen!

But as I was alone for a short while before I met Josie, I just talked to god and asked him whether this was what he really wanted me do or did I misinterpret his message for me? And I just continued to pray and then god replied and said,

“Mark, my message for you today wasn’t about obedience. Instead I want to have a heart for your ministry in St. Francis Xavier Church. Many leaders make the mistake of just doing their ministry and not having a heart of love for their ministry and people in it. But for you, I want to love everyone whom I send you to minister or serve. I know it’ll be hard but with my grace, you can do it! I don’t want you to just do and do but to actually first have a heart for all of them especially your main ministry, “The Youth Vineyard”. Love them the way you love your other brothers & sisters in Christ from Amplify & your outside cell. Once you do this continuously, all the rest will fall in place because you will put your main ministry above anything else!”

And after hearing this, I felt so good because god gave me a really good message it was really lovingly and gently put to me! And that is what so amazing for me! After all this awesome stuff, I met Josie at Bishan Coffee Bean where we met to talk. Yet again god another surprise when Josie decided to get a slice of cake since my Birthday was Friday! And we had such an awesome time just talk about all that had happened over the last few days and I just felt the Holy Spirit guiding our every word of conversation! Its all so awesome!

The true saving power of God!

Well just the other day, I was reflecting about the spiritual dryness that I just experienced. And then I was just asking myself this, “Like did you even experience the spiritual dryness because it was just too short to actually be considered one! Although it felt like one but still, it was really short and all. I mean there were other friends of mine who experienced it for a much longer period, something like 6 months.” After just questioning myself on that I just asked god, “God, was I even experiencing Spiritual dryness?”, although I didn’t hear him reply, but I felt him telling me that it was be cause I pleaded with him to save and despite not being able to feel him, I still pleaded in full faith and god knew this would happen so he gave me the grace, strength & perseverance to do it!

As I continued to reflect, I began to realize the true saving power of our awesome god. I was in such a state of awe when I soon discovered that god who is like the one who created this whole world, chose to actually listen to this small person and actually accept him plea to give me joy again. After just thinking about all of this, has just made me so so special & loved. And sometimes we might be really so dishearten by the stuff that people do to us or say to us but you there is one thing that we should know which is that our god loves us so much and that whatever situation you’re in, god will save you cause his saving power is real and powerful. It’s something that nobody can stand against especially the evil one! Amen!

The renewed desire for god

Well on this Monday morning, I started the week on a very troubling note with my heart troubled as I was still going through the period of spiritual dryness and it was causing alot of pain deep within my heart. But the funny thing about all of the struggles was that god still gave me the graces to ministry work on Sunday but the battle was really on Saturday and Sunday night and also during prayer when I really couldn't feel god's presence and because of that, I had been feeling huge amounts of pain in my heart. But last night, as I prayed, I pleaded with god to speak to me and also to allow me to come back to that heart of worship which was a place of joy & love and also the ability to feel god's presence all day! I also asked god to reveal his purpose for this spiritual dryness real soon. Lastly, I asked god to give me joy soon so I could enjoy my Birthday on Friday! After all these prayers, god just kept saying, "I am with you in your struggles." These have been the same words he's been telling over the weekend in all my struggles! Although these are really good assurances for me, I told god that this wasn't enough for me. And throughout this whole process, I wasn't alone as Pris Tan, Becks & Lydia were helping by talking and praying for me all the way!

Anyway this morning as I was struggling still especially on my way to school, I asked god to give the grace yet again to get through the day. But on the way to school, I felt that my spiritual dryness was decreasing really slowly but I didn't want conclude because this experience has really been fluctuating alot where sometimes it would be good but most of the times were times of struggle. Anyway I got through the day and had already planned to go the adoration room after school at about 8 to really just sit down and talk to god. At this point, I knew, I'd be much better after my silent time as that was sort of god's message throughout my day.

During my silent time, god reveal quite abit to me.

1) He said that I had to depend on him more and to just plan whatever and leave the outcome for god to take care.

2)Then he said that he wants me be to pave the way and to lead them to the path for him to work in the lives of those I meet everday, especially in my new cell and also in the Youth Vineyard & the youths in my parish. As he said this, he reminded me about my mission which "was to lead those in darkeness to light where the Light is Christ Jesus himself!"

3) He continued to reveal that its was only through this time of spiritual dryness that he was able to increase and renew my desire for the joy I felt throughout the latter part of 2007 and that he didn't want me to take for granted this joy in the lord & to continue to spread this joy to all whom I meet! He said that "The joy I find in the Lord shall be my strength everyday!"

4) Finally he said that he wants me to continue to come and spend silent time more often in a week. That this is the year when he moulds me to be rooted in prayer as I continue serving his people even more this year!

I'm not really sure if the time of spiritual dryness is over but I know that I just have to cling on to god and remain faithful in prayer. Through this experience, god has taught me to throw away my pride and to never be afraid to be weak and appear struggling cause its ok!

Lastly, I really wanna thank all those who were praying so hard for me especially Pris Tan, Becks, Lydia & everyone else who prayed for me! Thank you so so much! I appreciate you’ll loads! Love ya'll! Continue to pray for me and I pray for everyone of you'll too! Praise you O God Almighty! Amen!

The tough start to the new year

Its been a very tough start to the new year as I've been experiencing spiritual dryness which has been happening for about 2 weeks already. And throughout the whole weekend, I had stuff planned and it was really difficult to enjoy the company of everyone but I just hung onto Jesus with all my strength and through his beautiful grace, I was able to manage to have a good time with my cell yesterday. So while enjoying the company of everyone, I managed to talk to Pris Tan, Becks & Sury at different times for a short while about my struggles and all the battles & confusions faced through this period of spiritual dryness, so I guess it help a little bit.

But as yesterday drew to a close, I felt that the battle would come around when I was alone and it would be really tough! And so when I was on my way home last night, I was really in a state of struggle and I just talked to god on how I can move on from this state, and I felt god just saying that I had to go through this experience to carry on in ministry and I guess in alot of ways, its a transition stage of growth from me. But last night was so difficult and painful as I went through the period of struggle. I kept talking to god but after awhile it was just too painful to bear and then I went to sleep.

In the morning as I was at mass, I lifted up the feelings I was feeling. But you see the whole difficulty about this ongoing experience was that I didn't know what was blocking. So i just lifting up whatever I thought would be a blockage for me, and I remembered that as I was talking to Pris tan last night, she said to learn to breathe more. And as I was thinking about that, I thought that maybe its all the coming hectic schedule and huge number of responsibilities that was the block and as I lifted that up at the Eucharistic celebration, I was complaining to god about who I'd be able to pass the burdens of these responsibilities cause nobody would take this load for me, then god just replied me and said, "Ok then give me this load, I'll take it for you. You just relax!". And throughout the whole of today, god just said for me to plan whatever for my new cell, the youth vineyard and also whatever i had to plan but at the end of it all, he told me not to worry about the outcome, which made me realise that I needed to entrust more to god! This helped a bit throughout the day as god lavished his grace upon me throughout the day, so that I could be able to have a good Sunday with my session and also the youth council meeting in the afternoon.

But as usual, when the day came to a close, I realized that there's still this battle of spiritual dryness that I was facing. Even to this point of typing out this post, I am still cling on to god as I'm struggling in this very difficult time. But I just know that I need to get through this. But I just don't know how long it'll be before I can feel the awesome joy again which is something that I'm really desiring for.

So please bear with me everyone as I struggle and also to those struggling, just cling onto god and talk to your close friends cause we need help and support during this tough time. Just thrown away the pride of what others would think of you. My dear friends, please pray for me as this week, there's alot happening like my first new cell meeting, district meetings yet again and also the beautiful birthday on Friday when I turn 20. I really wanna pray that I'll be able to enjoy my birthday at least so pray for me! Thanks so much!

Be patience for this year of Harvesting!

Well today I was reflecting in ado for the first time this year! But before that I was talking to father Brian about all my ideas for 2008 and then all of a sudden, I felt that you know my ideas were very large scale for our parish and that all the ideas I had were more for the District level! I felt abit irritated after that cause like I was quite excited about all the ideas I had! It was like, I was so sure that SFX could lead the way but I guess god had other plans. Then I started to think about the talk about this year being a great year and all but like this wasn't the response I needed!

So well, I went to ado to reflect on all the ideas and also on all that happened! As I was reflecting, I felt god telling me to be patient and do the work of god according to God's time not mine! After hearing that, I just sat and was silent and still as I wait on god to speak. Although it was a little difficult to concentrate at first but after awhile I just kept picturing a clear white sight. After being silent for about 10 minutes, God said to be patient for this year is a year of harvesting and that means to be lead the way to build up leaders for the future and also to guide the people who are new in this walk with the Lord! Then god went on to say that "In practical terms, my focus should be on the new cell group that I'm setting up in SFX and also to focus on my community, the Youth Vineyard as they all need guidance and that does't all mean to be planning big and huge events!" After that I realized that I wanted to fulfill my plans and not god's plan but thankfully, god redirected me to the path he has set for me at least for now!

As I continued to reflect, god continued to speak to me and he revealed that this is the year for us to prepare as more Leaders will rise up and also that more will start to follow Christ and that God wants me to guide them especially when they fall! After all these plans that had been set by god for me, god confirmed it with a sign which I have many a time used to confirm the revelation god reveals to me! And its working really fast because my first new cell meeting will be next Thursday and I'm just so excited! This new year is really starting reveal this exciting but simple stuff and the best part is that its only the 2nd day of the new year! We still have 363 day of exciting stuff still! Amen to that!

How do I know what god reveals to me?

Well for many years, I've always wondered how people find out what god reveals to them! Like does god really speak to them aloud or something and like what is the sound of his voice? And throughout my 4 years of youth ministry, I always wondered if god would ever speak to me on a regular basis, because there were like once or twice when he told me the name of my youth group, but I always want god to talk to me everyday!

But for god to talk you, you need alot of stuff. Firstly, you need the desire to really want to know god and be more like him. We also need to pray and be rooted in prayer. Next, we need to practice talking to god regularly like every minute. We also need to be able to figure out what our heart is telling us and what our mind is telling us, where normally our mind tells us what we want hear but our heart is gentle and tells us the truth which is from god! I feel that the best thing that god has given us is our hearts, because that’s where god really speaks to us! But the sound of god's voice for everyone is different and he speaks to us all differently!

At first, I was really unsure of whether it was really god speaking to me and that brings me to the finally thing we need, which is a sharing group or a cell group where I've received alot of affirmation of the revelations and for this I wanna thank my cell cause every single one of them have played a part in all my revelations from god! So ya we need the support of fellow believers of Christ, cause its there we will get alot of strength to carry on striving for god and constantly changing ourselves in character to seek god better!

And when I'm unsure about something that god has revealed to me, I just claim in faith about the message from god as much as possible, I lift it up at the mass. And god always confirms the message through affirmations or messages from other but we must be really sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit! Also patience is really important because god works in his time not ours! But even I have my failures and weaknesses as god is still molding me! Yup!

I hope this answers you petrina! Let me know! Thanks!

The awesome 2008 ahead!

Wow god is really awesome man! My New Year celebrations were quite good! I went to the SACCRE youth New Year party at IHM! It was so amazing meeting so many new people and also getting to know more people desiring to follow Jesus! I had the countdown with mass at IHM! I feel it really speaks about how my 2008 is gonna be like!

And even before i decided to go for the SACCRE youth New Year party, I was thinking like what purpose it'll be to go for the party. But throughout the party, a few of the Zion's joy people were like telling me that they were happy to see someone from SFX! Also they truly believed that there was hope for the youth ministry in SFX! Upon hearing that, suddenly I felt so honored to be a major part of god plans for SFX! Although i realized this a long time ago, it was only yesterday when I felt so honored and happy that god chose me among so many others to lead his people! So ya its awesome man!

As 2008 dawns on us, feel that this is the year when we need to go even further from where we are to bring Christ to others! So let's approach 2008 with lots of fire in our hearts! And Yes there'll be much more revelations from god to me, so keep checking out for more post! Amen!