The Truth of it all

Well this is something that many people don't know. Some may know a part of it but I'm very thing nobody knows the whole truth and my feelings behind this except God of Course! Well its actually directly related with my relationship my girlfriend. First things first, we've broken up after 3 weeks of being together. I just really need to get that out before I start.

Even before I got attached, I knew that God didn't want me to get attached with this girl. He told me about 2 weeks before we got attached. Basically what happened was that, I asked God whether this relationship was part of his #1 plan for me. I was at mass on a Sunday at that time when I asked him. And after a few minutes, God answered me and said that it wasn't part of his #1 plan for me. And then I got so confused and kept questioning myself whether this really was from God. But the more I questioned, the more God affirmed me that it was the Lord God Almighty. So I concluded that it was God and then started to ask him why it couldn’t be part of his #1 plan for me. I continued to tell him that all the physical signs pointed to fact that I should get attached. But after awhile, I knew that I needed to come to a conclusion. And after weighing all options, I concluded that I needed to go with God's #2 plan for me. And as I told God that, I knew in my heart that I would still be blessed with the love of God but I wouldn't be able to really fell that eternal happiness with God here on earth.

And as soon as I got attached, I began to feel the greater challenge to seek God and found it tougher. But I was still able to feel the presence & love of God but the void was the joy & delight that I had in God, especially the joy expressed through my Friday morning messages. That was something I missed so much during my 3 weeks of being attached. But things got a bit more confusing from there, as the word about me being attached spread so fast through my cell group and my parish. All thanks to Facebook. Haha! But the main issue was that so many of them were extremely happy for me. Everyone was telling me how happy they were for me. BUT only the person himself, who was receiving it, wasn't entirely happy. I was happy but also unhappy not being able to achieve that eternal joy with God! But don't get me wrong. I was happy to get attached but it was just that void of fulfillment which was left half full.

And so, I started to pray to God that he'll help me in this situation. I prayed that I'll be happy with whatever solution he had in mind. And all the time, God was still with me, telling me not to keep looking back on the choosing his #2 plan for me. But God kept reassuring me of his plan for me and kept reminding me to just look forward and stop looking back.

And then as 2 weeks into the relationship passed, I asked God once more, "Lord what do I do now? How Lord?" Then just kept telling me to wait and pray for the relationship and especially for her well being. And that was what I kept doing basically!

Then on Thursday night (26/6/2008), my girlfriend messaged me that she thought that it would be better to remain as good friends. Now at this point, I didn't know what to feel. I asked myself whether I should be sad or happy? I really didn't know because I was happy that God helped me but also sad cause I've been trying to adjust to this sort of life. But of course I was a little more happy than sad. Anyway the next day, I was quite joyful as I could feel that joy and fulfillment in God again. Anyway, we talked about it and now we are going to be good friends once again.

But it took awhile for me to really digest everything but now I am in total joy of God allowing me to come back to his #1 plan for me. And Boy am I lovin it! All praise be to God!

But I have learnt alot from this relationship. I realised how much I loved God and desired to live out his #1 for me. I also learnt to trust God more and more and of course to listen to God when tells me that it isn't part of his plan and not try to think that I know better cause I don't!

So my lovely people, I'm single once again and I wanna remain in this state unless getting attached is part of God's #1 plan for me! Praise God!

God keeps his promise

You know how we sometimes like to doubt to god a little bit at times and think at that point that we might know better. Well that was what the service at SFX confirmation camp was thinking and we were pretty much doubting God.

The confirmation camp 2008 program was extremely different from the previous con camps we've had. It was a program which was vey much commented with lots of negative comments. Maybe its the culture of youths serving in God's kingdom who have very high expectations and also not being able to adapt to different situations. Even I found it really difficult to adapt the the new program but I am just so thankful to God for granting me te grace to being able to accept his plan for us all.

I felt really blessed throughout the camp as I was really feeling the graces of God poured out upon me and upon everyone . The graces I needed to wake up in the morning and be fresh & cheerful, the grace to be a light for Christ to the confirmants, the grace to believe that God will move within the confirmants and especially the grace to have faith.

And I'm just so affirmed by the way God touched the lives of the confirmants. For God knew the confirmants way better then us and he knew what would be the best way to touch their hearts. And so rightfully God did during the Parents night where the confirmants will read the letter from their parents and then moments later, meet them and reconcile with them. Though almost all of us predicted that it won't really touch the confirmants, God proved us to be so wrong when it happened. It was so touching that even the facilitators were in tears at such a sight of Love!

And for me, as all these moments of love were happening, I just looked at the cross where Jesus was and I thanked him and just smiled at him. It was just a moment of pure joy & delight to have put my faith in God! It was really beautiful Love!

And futhermore, I have never seen the Holy Spirit move like how it did during this con camp. Seriously! It was really amazing how the Holy Spirit was guiding every speaker, facilitator, musician, worship leader, priests and confirmant! It was so amazing! And of course the Holy spirit left Mark Sebastian Abraham in total wonder & awe of God as I was guided to initiate the unplanned morning service team prayers.

Thats another thing I learnt at this con camp. I learnt how powerful prayer can be, especially communal prayer. I received the gift of prayer! It was so amazing and so unplanned!

And basically this is what happened for SFX during the same weekend of YISS, St. Joseph Con Camp, OLPS youth retreat and many other camps held concurrently. I'm sure the Holy spirit moved so strongly in the other camps too!

Prasie be to GOD!

PS: Sorry for being so lazy to update my Blog! Will be trying to update it more now! Hehe!

New stuff thats happened

Hello everyone!

Wow its really been a long time since I last posted anything. But a lot has been happening me, both in terms of relationship with God, school and some new stuff.

Well the first thing is that I’m attached with a girl. But I must praise god for this. I’m not just praising God for getting attached but more on the process of the whole thing. God was like my love guru (actually he is). He was guiding me all the way and it all ended up well because of him only. He was there for me in times of desperation, joy and sadness.

The funny thing about all this was that, throughout the whole process of the planning and all, it was only when I was seeking the Kingdom of God first, that things with her went extremely well. But when I wanted to be with her more than with God, things went bad. And I guess, I knew that this relationship with her was purely a gift from God to his Child.

There were so many times when questioned God on why I deserved such a gift but it always ended with God just giving me the grace to rejoice, delight and accept the gift. This was something that I always wanted actually, which was to have a pure and god-centered relationship with someone. So now, just delight that God’s plan for me is this good. And I always thought that when I was to enter into a relationship with someone, that I would drift away from God but how can this happen when the relationship comes from God. Its actually the opposite, where I draw closer to God.

And I am just so amazed that throughout this process, I’ve experienced drawing closer and closer to God each day. But God has really been granting the graces for me and I can only delight in my creator, GOD!

And the other stuff which has been happening is that my term tests have just finished but I have about 4 projects to finish throughout these 2 weeks of holidays. And of course, my relationship with God has been become better and better each days. But I am still sinful in my own ways, so continue to keep me in your prayers.

I want to thanks all the many people who are happy and excited for me. A really special thanks to my magnificent cell group! You’ll know who you are! And I guess it shows how wonderful the plan God has for us. So let’s trust in this plan! Amen!