Monday, November 17, 2008

The ongoing stint of extreme struggle

For those who have been in touch with me, you'll would know the many struggles I've had to go through of late. In all my life, I've never been faced with so much struggles at once. Its really been a time of a test of my faith in God and his plan for me. Praise God for at having time to think about all these thoughts & struggles I'm encountering in a phase of my life where there seems to be so much pain.

Basically of late, the struggles I've been facing are the problems with working with people and in that state of struggle, I've also been facing the struggle of whether the decisions I make constantly is part of the will of God. I keep asking myself and in quite a big way doubt myself of my abilities. Another struggle is accepting the will of God with a particular situation that God set for me as part of his plan for me in my life. This has been the main struggle and its been 3 weeks already. Another struggle has been the passing of the closest uncle to me 2 weeks ago. It was such a devastating moment for me as it seemed like I kept being pounced with struggle after struggle and nothing at all seem to come my way with any positives. On top of all this, there's been some difficulties at school with understanding my modules for this semester. I have no idea why all of this have come at once but I still believe there is a great reason for this stint of extreme struggle.

But in all my struggles, I still praise God so much for all of this. Despite the struggles, the marvelous thing about all this is that I've been able to really draw more closer to God and more importantly, really cling with all my life onto God and Jesus' Cross! It has really been through this process where God has revealed to me how much he loves me and how much he cares for me. This has been an experience & a testimony where I've been able to experience the fruits of my relationship with God.

So although the struggles still mount, my desire is to cling to God with all I have and I know his grace will be sufficient for me. I am aware that this phase isn't ending soon but I trust in God's plan for me. So to all those awaiting my joyful morning messages, keep me in your prayers. I miss the joyful Mark Sebastian Abraham too but I guess with every joy, comes suffering. So Praise God for my struggles and a new & ongoing experience. Amen!