In each heart, I believe there is always a great level of healing that one desires, whether that heart wishes to let go of his/her own pride to admit this truth. It has been something I've come to a much deeper understanding of. But, a great deal of humility is required for one to embrace & accept that healing is needed. A lack of healing always has very devastating effects deep within one's heart. It becomes amazing that Christianity is one of the very few religions that constantly advocates & promotes the need for healing. But healing is also a very painful process as it brings about very intensed emotions that definitely cause each of us to wonder if the healing process is worth enduring.Over the past 6 months, I've been in a real search for healing in a particular area of my past. Its been an area of my life that has caused so much hurt deep within my heart. It has basically been the immense hurt I've experienced during my discernment in the past year. This hurt has been so painful that it has also led me to wonder if God really does love me. In many ways, its been a situation that I've never been. The immense hurt was so deep that there was so much fear in my heart to even face it. For the past 6 months, I have just been yearning & desiring to be healed in this area of my life so much. Over time, I've also come to accept the very hard truth that I've been scarred in many ways, due to my major underestimation of the ways of the evil one.
But as God never abandons every single one of his children, God had a plan to bring the very much needed healing into my life at a time that would be perfect. As much as it was such a painful process to wait so long for this healing, it was made perfect when it came and I was able to see that the wait was such an important factor in the entire healing process. Furthermore, the wait was actually part of the healing. The wait was the start of God's healing within me. God always knows best and in this situation, the phrase in the Bible, "God's time is never the same as our time", would serve to be very true.
On that night, I was filled with so much fear deep within my heart as I met with the person I was struggling so much. But beneath the immense fear, there was this very evident fact that I needed to face this area of immense brokenness and allow the Light of Christ to shine and bring truth into this situation. I also was aware that there would never be a better opportunity again. So as I began the conversation, I just abandoned all fear and braced up every ounce of courage to be totally human & extremely vulnerable to her. It was probably the most difficult yet most beautiful conversations I've ever had in my entire life. It was difficult because I'd never ever placed myself in a vulnerable state before. It was also so beautiful because there was an immense level of grace & love within the entire conversation. I really praise God for being ever so present as we exchanged sharings. There was no doubt at all that there was so much healing taking place within both of our hearts. For me, there was so much peace & joy in my heart as it has been a process that I've desired so much for. But there was no better time than that night. In many ways, we both were able to accept & embrace this fact and see how God's work hasn't stopped within each of us, although there were many moments of not feeling his presence.
At the end of our conversation, we made a conscious decision to love & respect each other as brother & sister in the blessed name of Jesus Christ! There also so much hope for each of us, as well as for the friendship we have. Finally, we embraced each other and I believe that we came to fully forgive each other. I praise God for this amazing & beautiful experience of healing that couldn't have taken place without God! I also wanna thank this friend of mine from the very depths of my heart for saying that 'YES' to meet me that night. I wouldn't be in this moment of extreme joy & peace without her. So I thank you, dear!
For all those reading this post, I thank you for constantly being part of this journey I have with Jesus! I thank you for praying for me. But if there is an area of healing that you seek, I pray & encourage you to lift it up to God and surrender your desire unto him. God will answer your plea in his time. God will never abandon you and know that your plea is never left ignored or unheard by God! God loves you so much. Most importantly, I pray with all my heart that you will never neglect or underestimate your need for healing. Its never embarrassing to say that you need healing. Especially in this very fast-paced world, healing is compromised so much. May you always be this living testimony of God's healing love in this world for all to see & believe! God bless your journey!
