Dependence on God

There have been many emotions within me throughout the process of my 1st week at the Police Force serving my NS. In the week, I had to go through alot of physical training, marching, alot of yelling from the instructors and ect. But in just so many ways, I feel so blest. Through each day, there was constantly this immense grace within the very depths of my heart to be totally dependent on my Mighty Lord Jesus.

On the very 1st day, quite amazingly, I was a little traumatized. It was really a culture shock for me, as I witnessed how human beings were degraded to an extremely low level. But throughout that day, God reveal in the midst of the intensity of everything about how there are so many people in the world that could only learn in a tough way like this. In the midst of my many struggles in understanding the reasons for the way the instructors used to speak to the trainees, God slowly revealed to me the reasons. Through each revelation from, it slowly became much better for me.

Quite incredibly, I actually slowly embraced the very essence of the yelling form the instructors. This process of embracing it, led me to really give the respect that the instructors truely deserved. The revelation that actually helped the most was when God said, "My son, they deserve your respect. After all, each one of them had gone through the exact same thing that you are going through at this moment!" From that instant of that revelation, with the pure grace of God, I just embraced the whole process of National Service. This is a grace that is totally from God and really nothing of me. For me, its really a testimony that when we desire to be dependent on God, everything is made to become so much easier & bearable.

Now, the blessings from God have been countless. I just have so much to praise God! I start off by really being thankful that my brother, James is so well known in the Police Force. In the simplest ways, that has been a blessing for me. Then comes the numerous times where I really couldn't endure the Physical training, but at every moment of such struggles, there is this amazingly distinct voice within my heart constantly cheering me on to not give up. Another very surprising blessing is how the grace of God had really led me to see God in each one of his creations, no matter what race or religion they may be, especially the muslims. It may be a sharing that many may dispute and disagree but I see so much of Jesus in them, especially our muslim brothers. For me, I have come to that understanding that none of us are perfect but there is always that essence of God in each of us because he created each of us. And when we make that effort to look beyond the faults of anyone (no matter what race or religion they may be), the grace of God to love them as a fellow creation of God is made easier and much more enjoyable.

At the moment, there seems to be alot of goodness from my NS experience. My prayer is that I continue to be totally dependent on God because I am just totally convince that it has been God that has carried me through and I know that it is that same God that will continue to carry me through this ongoing experience. At the moment, I will admit that although my life is very different, I am enjoy every second of it. I see that this process accompanied with the many challenges can only make me a better person.

With regards to my discernment, I still continue to listen to that very gentle voice of God as he leads me through this process. I also remember how the intense thoughts of the discernment were brought to light in my heart on my way walking home yesterday. At moment, I feel excited at where my whole life is headed because there is this very evident call to higher level of greatness from God. And that just brings about alot of excitement & joy. In many ways, the many tests of perseverance for my discernment in the earlier months, has made the process of NS alot easier. Thank you to everyone of your countless prayers too! I am so appreciative of it!

So Lord Jesus, I just praise you with all I have for the uncountless blessings you continue to pour out in my life. You alone deserve all praise. I am absolutely nothing without you. For you alone suffice.

Preparation takes you only so far, after that you have got to take a leap of faith!