A new chapter

Today is the start of a new chapter. As it becomes the start of something new, it also marks the end of an experience that I've really come to treasure close to my heart. New chapters never fail to bring about an experience of both sides of the coin. It is always accompanied with both the negative & positive effects as new chapters to evolve in one's life. New chapters bring about both the excitement of what is to come but yet also accompanied with the memories of the past. The very thought that wanders as always, would be if what is to come in the future could ever meet the standards of the past. New chapters can bring about regret or absolute joy, but it really all depends on how we choose to look at it.

Yes, today marks the end to my 2-year long discernment. Its been really discernment for me. The very important point to take note is that when I say that the discernment has been amazing, I'm not saying that the discernment has been a sweet & rosy one. For those who know about my discernment would actually know what a painful experience its been for me. As I take a look at the past 2 years, I see how close Jesus has been to me. Jesus has really walked with me every step of the way, through the excruciating pain I felt in my heart and the countless times of silence I experienced from God and also the many times of joy that gave me reason to carry on. For me, this discernment has really helped me accelerate in my growth with God as well as a person. It has really helped me mature and understand the ways of God & the world too. It has surely the magnanimious difference between our beautiful God and this world. I will say that this has definitely made me much wiser. This discernment has especially brought me to great lengths. There are many times when those lengths were absolutely beyond me. But in those experiences, I was taught to learn what it truely meant to cling unto God with all I had. In very little ways, I experienced a small fraction of what Jesus had to endure on his road to Calvary, as I learnt to suffer for Jesus. There were many moments in the discernment that have been excruciating for me, especially when I had to refrain from telling the truth to certain people. And to all those people, I sincerely apologise for all those times. I really did all those acts in love for you because my heart broke so much to refrain from telling you the truth. I hope you forgive & understand me.

But all in all, there is just so much to praise God for this discernment. This experience is definitely one that I would never want to forget or ever regret. The outcome of this discernment is that I have discovered God's way of life for me, for I am called to the Vocation of Marriage. I do understand why God has called me to this way of life too as God gave me certain intense desires in my heart for the vocation of marriage. But I would that what i learnt the most was FAITH. Its a faith that knows no boundaries. A faith is rooted so deeply in the love of God.

This closure paves the way for another part of my Journey with Jesus to unfold. I'm as unaware as you are about the next part of my journey. This new chapter is one that requires much faith in God's plans for me. For me, today has been a day that has challenged me to move forward into this new chapter and to not keep dwelling on the experiences of the last chapter. In the course of today, I have struggled alot. But there is amazing evident invitation from God that moving into this new chapter is his desire & will for me. I praise God that he has made it clear unto me today!

As I wait upon the Lord, I place my entire life into his hands. For I know and am absolutely 100% sure that I'm just madly & insanely in love with Jesus. I would do anything & everything for this man of Jesus! For he is the only reason I live for and the only one I praise for the person I've become today. At the moment, I really don't know which girl he has set out for me, but I do know that God has taken care of that. So I surrender my worries about that into your hands, my Lord!

For those reading this post, I sincerely pray that you will place your life in the safe hands of Jesus. He loves you so much and will only do what he feels best for you. For Jesus, only the best to his standards will do for you. So take time out of your busy schedules and invest your time in God. He will lead you to trust in him and always be wary of the evil one preying on you always. Yet again, my best advice is to follow your heart. And if you are able to face God face-to-face and not feel embaressed about yourself as you speak to God, then you're on the right path. If not, then take time and let God change your life. For there is no situation/problem that is too big for God!

Praise you, O Jesus!

PS: Estelle, I had a beautiful day with you today! I didn't forget that! :)))